Wednesday, October 21, 2009
That's the name I'm calling myself. It seems lately that whenever I get involved with someone, or venture to get involved with someone, they've already got someone else.
This second best stuff has been going on for about a year now, and during that year, I've found myself involved with various people, all of whom have a Significantly More Important Other.
In theory, it seems like I would be in a good position, what with having several gentlemen (four at this count) to choose from if I want to do something. The thing is, it's like being a mistress. If there's a special event, something I want to go to, you can bet that not one of the gentlemen will be available, as they'd be taking their SMIOs, or they won't even think to ask me if I would like to go. But that's fine. Does the SMIO leave early? That's where I step in, and suddenly I'm the centre of the gentleman's attention, the recipient of steamy IMs, and for an hour or two, I am important, too. If the SMIO is out of town or something, it's like I've won the lottery of affection. And then when she returns, I am lucky if I even get a "Hello, Reghan, how are you today?" thrown in my direction, and sometimes only if they want something. Some gentlemen just don't even say anything at all for weeks, as long as they've got their SMIO around.
So I suppose it's not surprising that I have become emotionally guarded. As far as the four gentlemen are concerned, only one of them has any genuine affection from me. The rest get as good as they give.
After all, I'm only giving them my second best, too.